As a leadership coach, I’m often asked how entrepreneurs can become better leaders. There’s no shortcut to the hard work that goes into improving your leadership. However, a simple experiment has opened the eyes of many of my clients to an entirely new approach to leadership. This experiment only requires a coffee shop, an iPhone and a little bit of persistence.
The Setup
Grab your iPhone and set it up to take a voice memo. Then, go to a coffee shop and record the audio of you ordering a coffee. Do this several times over the course of a week. Save the audio each time. Now, do the same thing — only this time, ask for a free coffee. Don’t wear any flashy or expensive clothes that indicate you “could” pay, and don’t offer a tip. Go to a different coffee shop where you aren’t a regular. Repeat this until you succeed at getting a free coffee.
Right away, you will notice something different between the two experiences. When you pay for coffee, you have authority as a customer. The exchange of value is clear: coffee for money. But when you don’t have money, you don’t have the same authority. But just because there’s no financial exchange, doesn’t mean a transaction isn’t taking place.
So, what exactly is the exchange taking place, and how do you get that free coffee? Listen to the audio of both the paid and unpaid transactions. What do you do differently in each scenario? Do you spend more time talking with the barista when you are requesting free coffee? Are you more cheerful, or are you more curt and demanding?
Why this exercise is valuable to leaders
When you pay for your coffee, the barista is just that: a barista. But what most people find is that the barista is no longer just a barista when they’re not paying for their coffee — he or she is a person with whom they connect. Maybe they tell a joke or ask how their day is going. They treat the barista as an equal.
This is not any different than the interactions most entrepreneurs have with their staff every day. The transaction with the barista is a necessary hurdle to getting what you want: coffee. Goal-focused leaders often unintentionally treat their employees as “necessary hurdles” to achieving a desired outcome. They are the “boss,” and the employee is subordinate.
When you discard the role of authority that you have over your staff, you treat them as equals. And when you treat them as equals, you approach them on a human level. You’ve already experienced this yourself, whether it was with a boss, coach, teacher or friend: Someone in your life has treated you this way. He or she brought genuine respect and care to the relationship and could likely give you feedback or advice that, were it to come from someone else, you would dismiss as being insulting or inappropriate. Yet because of his or her approach, you were willing to listen their direct feedback.
These people often make the biggest impact in our lives: Their perspectives can shortcut years of experience with denial to force us to face reality, good or bad. Great leaders practice this with every member of their teams, and you can too. Give this exercise a try. You will gain much more than free coffee!
Brian Smith
